Link to Spotify playlist: Shame, Shame
Disclaimer: Don't attempt to correct my spelling, grammar or opinions. I wrote all of this while intoxicated and don't remember if I edited it or not. Don't go all "Strunk and White" on me.
The relative merits of this track can be debated, but I don't think it has aged well at all. P starts off promising enough, but then takes a hard left, off a bridge, into the river of mediocre-at-best rapping, and stays there for FAR too long. Hell, there are a few instances where words are being repeatedly rhymed with themselves. That being said, nostalgia is a powerful drug. There are few things in this world that instill fear in the hearts of inner city high school football fans more than a Bravada full of suburban white kids blasting Master P on their way to the game. Little did they know, it was the only CD we had in the car, and we were self-aware enough to get the joke.
Free Energy - Bang Pop
How much more straightforward can you get? From the chord progression, to the rhythm, to the guitar fills, to the lyrical content, I've heard all of it a thousand times before. It's embarrassingly poppy and upbeat. That being said, it's also unabashedly and enthusiastically so. These guys really go for it, and that comes across on the record. Plus, I don't think I've ever seen a music video that suits a song better.
Brad Paisley - American Saturday Night
So begins the country, and this one hits all the genre's g-spots. Cars, beer, girls, it's all there. Plus, it doesn't have the slightest hint of Texan or outlaw sincerity. Every thing about it screams slickness. That being said, if you listen carefully, he actually cuts against the standard white rural America country rhetoric. Rather than bemoan immigrant influences, he incorporates them into his vision of America, and it's one that sounds more positive and complete. Also, the guitar work is about as good as it gets.
The Weepies - I Was Made for Sunny Days
No controversy or conflict here. This song is saccharine sweet. I'd almost go so far as to call it cloying. I remember hearing this on my car radio and not knowing what the hell to think. That being said, I bought it as soon as I got home. Ain't nothing wrong with a simple, well-made, happy song. Or so I tell myself whenever I listen to one...
Garth Brooks - Callin' Baton Rouge
Oh, hello! There you are, Garth! What, did you expect me to make it through a list of shameful songs without mentioning the king of them all? The hardest part was picking just one. I honestly considered just posting his greatest hits album and calling it a day. That being said, I felt this was the best possible choice. Try making it through one listen without feeling the urge to belt out the chorus. Go ahead. I know you know it. Everyone does.
Lil' Troy - Wanna Be a Baller
I got nothing. Seriously. That being said... shit. Still nothing. Houston FTW.
Ringo Starr - It Don't Come Easy
This is not a good song. No two ways about it. Absolutely nothing special about it whatsoever. A throwaway. Hell, a lot of the lines don't even rhyme. That being said, it's a coherent song written by Ringo. That never ceases to amaze me.
The Wallflowers - One Headlight
There's not a lot to say about this song, except that it is oft-maligned. It's a pretty typical fuzzy 90's alt rock song. That being said, the guitar sounds are cool, the lyrics have some merit and the organ is a nice touch. Plus, it's Bob Dylan's son. That has to count for something.
Sleigh Bells - Rill Rill
I know Sleigh Bells had some serious buzz behind them a couple years ago, and they did some interesting, noisy-poppy stuff with that album. But this track is just a Funkadelic sample with some ambiguously dark lyrics over the top. That being said, I like it because it's such a welcome break from the noise on the rest of the album, and "six sets straight, ace, cut 'em in the bathroom" may well be a good line. Even if it's not, it's fun to say.
Barenaked Ladies - One Week
I'm getting sick and fucking tired of writing about these goddamn songs. That being said, I still know every word* to this one. Right on, 90's. Right fucking on.
The B-52's - Roam
This song is a typical piece of 80's fluff. I often express my hatred for everything having to do with 80's pop culture, so to admit to liking something so typical of the period would be, for me, blasphemous. That being said, this song is catchy. Not a lot of analysis necessary here. Whenever it comes on the radio, I turn it up. Isn't that the ultimate test?
Okay Matt. You can do it. One more. How bad could it be?
Hanson - MMMBop
Shit.
When this song came out in 1997, it was EVERYWHERE. Maybe the most overplayed song in history. In addition, my sister was 12 at the time. I think I actually smashed her CD. Twice. That being said, time has been very kind to this track. In every way, it's a solid song. Not spectacular, but better than we have any right to expect from teenagers. Plus, we all had that friend who, upon seeing the video on MTV, remarked that he thought the lead singer girl was hot.
Okay. That's fucking it. I'm out. [drops mic]
*nearly
